Monday, October 6, 2008

i said goodbye to an old friend today

chase and i are whole lot alike in a whole lot of ways. it's really kind of eerie.

but, there is one issue on which we differ drastically...clothes with holes in them. you see, if an article of clothing has a hole in it then i think that it deserves to be thrown in the trash. if you walk around with a hole in your shirt, you'll look like a ragamuffin. and people will think that the guy's wife just lets him walk around with ratty clothes. or worse...what if you ended up in the back of an ambulance with holey underwear? (please tell me my mom wasn't the only person who preached on this topic.) anyway, i'm bound and determined not to let that happen to chase! i'm constantly tossing his clothes in the trash at the first sign of a hole.

well, as i was getting out of the shower at the wellness center today, i proceeded to put on my most favorite pair of khaki shorts. they have been with me since the 8th grade, and they are oh so incredibly soft and comfortable. i just might run back into my burning house to retrieve them.


chase hates them. so does my mother. they're not innapropriate in any way, just a little frayed on the edges. he says that they should be in the trash because of the fraying. but fraying does not equal a hole, my friends. fraying = character. my mom just says they look tacky. (eye roll.)

anyway, as i was putting them on i noticed a hole. gasp! in the crotch. double gasp! my heart broke into a million pieces. i knew that i had to toss them. but since i had nothing else to wear out of the shower, i was stuck with them if only for a few more hours. then a bad day decided to get worse. as i was zipping them up, the zipper broke. i fiddled with them for about 10 minutes to try to get them back together. i did, luckily, which was great because i really didn't want to walk out with unzipped pants and a hole in the crotch. what kind of message would that be sending to the little, old water aerobics ladies? however, i then realized that i wasn't going to be able to unzip them to go to the bathroom for fear of not being able to get them zipped again! lovely. you stinkin' shorts...i have taken such good care of you for 14 years, and this is how you treat me?!?

i thought of cutting them up and seeing if my mother-in-law could make a blanket out of the scraps for me. but, then i thought i'd just go shopping for some more. maybe get a new t-shirt or two while i'm there!

but for now, i'm going to go sit at the window with william and wait on the garbage truck. and wave bye-bye.

9 comments:

Frank and Ginger said...

DOUBLE gasp at the fact that you can fit into shorts from the 8th grade.

Lance and DK said...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mama

Rachael Tackett said...

8th grade...good lord!

Rachael Tackett said...

8th grade...good lord!

Thomas & Amber Ryan said...

i remember those shorts! i am sorry for your loss, lb!

Candace said...

ok so you don't need to broadcast that u are the same size as 8th grade!!! You make us all feel terrible..kind of like Christy Watson telling people her kids sleep through the night at four weeks...you are still it by the way..

Anonymous said...

think that you may have upset a few people with that 8th grade stuff. i've seen you eat - so how does that happen? honey

Anonymous said...

Little Laura, have you considered writing a book in you spare time. You wrote a whole essay on a pair of shorts. B R

jessica said...

laura baria....stop it.