a pen

but not just any pen.....a UPS pen! that's right. the UPS man showed up to deliver some packages to us yesterday, and when he found out that william wanted his job in a few years...he gave him his UPS pen. it doesn't sound like much, but you would have thought it was christmas morning!

getting public in a public restroom

so a few days ago, i drove to memphis to pick up two ceiling fans for our new back patio. it was just me and the two little people for the drive. while i was there, i decided to make a target run because how can you pass up a chance to go to target when you are actually in a town that has one??? well, i had to go to the bathroom, so i chose the handicap stall for the extra room since i had to take two others in there with me (and most of the others were occupied anyway). i had to hold wes because i didn't want to put him down on that nasty floor, and he was barefooted. now keep in mind that william has rarely seen me go to the bathroom. if he goes in the bathroom with somebody, it's always with chase.

william: "mama!! you don't have a pee pee?!?"
(like this is the first time that anyone has brought that to my attention)
me: "no william, be quiet!!"
william: "but mama, you don't have a pee pee!!!"
me: "william, shhhhhhh! i will buy you whatever you want if you will just be quiet!"
(well, he's clearly fascinated at this point)
william: "you tee tee outta your booty??"
(i'm hearing chuckles from the adjacent stalls)
me: "william, just hush, and we'll go get some chicken nuggets."
(i'm wishing that wes will start screaming to drown out the anatomically inquisitive 2 year old standing beside me.)
william: "hey, mama! you need to get dirty???"
(all out laughter from my neighbors in the target restroom now)
me: "no william. i'm fine."
william: "are you suuuuuuuuure you don't need to get dirty?"

at this point, i'm trying as fast as i can to zip and button my shorts with one hand while holding wes with the other. who by the way, was being amazingly quiet. why couldn't he be in one of his babbling or screaming moods??? luckily, i was able to get out of there with only seeing one person face to face! but in the future, i will avoid liquids for 48hrs before i go on road trips that involve just me and little people. or maybe i'll just avoid them altogether!!!

fun with the cousins

the cup

i realize that this situation is probably 90% my fault, but still......

after i potty trained william around christmas last year, i was faced with the problem of what to do when we were in the car and he needed to go. i wasn't too sure about him getting out and peeing on a tree or bush because i didn't want him to think that was acceptable in say, our neighbor's yard, for instance. so, i came up with the idea of a cup. i keep a stack of paper cups in my car, and when he needs to go i pull over, he pees in the cup, i dump it out, he climbs back in his seat, and we go on our merry way. i'm beginning to realize that my cup scenario may be flawed....not because he took a whiz on the fence at the buffalo park (though, that should have tipped me off) but because of the following story.

one day last week, everybody was up, fed and dressed, but we didn't have to be anywhere for an hour or so. william said that he wanted to play in his room for a while, so i told him to go ahead. wes and i went to clean up the kitchen and left william playing happily in his room. about 30 minutes later, i walk in his room to find him stacking pillows on top of one another in the corner of his room. the bed is unmade, and there is a huge wet spot in the middle of it. the conversation goes something like this:

me (very cautiously): "william, why is there a wet spot in your bed?"
william (very matter of factly): "i had to tee tee."
of course, i'm furious. me: "what? you tee teed on your bed!?!?"
william: "no."
me (getting louder): "yes, you did!! there's a big wet spot in your bed!"
william: "no, i didn't. i tee teed in the cup."
there is a cup in his room that i keep beside his bed for when he turns into a camel before he goes to bed and just has to have a drink of water.
me: "then what did you do with it?"
william (again matter of factly): "dumped it out."

chase told me i couldn't be mad because that's what i taught him to do. so fine. no toys while we tee tee. no cups in the bedrooms. and, don't be alarmed if my child pees on your bush while he's at your house!

the baptism

this weekend, we went to jackson for the baptism of leigh, my niece. she was beautiful in her gown, and she did great throughout the whole thing. her sister, sara beth (age 2) was a different story! my brother-in-law, zeb, sent an email today re-telling the story of those few minutes in church. i know you weren't expecting to get published on my blog, zeb, but this was so good that i just had to share......

5/18/08
by: Zeb

Somewhere in the top 5 days of your child's life (along
with their birth,marriage and maybe a few other things)
is their baptism.  You pray for it,anticipate it, and
try to make everything perfect and everybody happy.  But,
ah,what we learn from 2 year olds...

Who was it who said "The best laid plans of mice and men,
often go awry..."?  He was probably a new father.  There
we stood (along with 6 other couples we barely new) in
front of 1000 stone faced, quiet, some half-asleep fellow
church-goers at the very formal First Presybterian Church
of Jackson, Miss, ready to present our sweet Leigh to the
pastor for her baptism and our affirmation that we plan,
by God's grace, to raise her in the "nurture and admonition
of the Lord." Things seemed so perfect.  Both girls had been
great that morning, and we had gotten out of the house
without 1 tear being shed--currently quite an accomplishment
for us. Leigh looked beautiful in the gown her Honey had made
for all the grandkids' baptisms.  She was quiet.  I handed
her to Dr Duncan and his booming barotone voice proclaimed
her a Child of the Covenant and baptized her in the name of
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.  Not a peep from
Leigh.  As I reached to take her back, I nearly knocked
the baptismal urn over, but the elder caught it.  No big
deal--I don't even think anyone besides Anna noticed it.
If that was our biggest problem, we were in good shape.

If only....

Leigh let out a little scream while Baby Kellum was being
baptized next, but I quickly got her back to sleep.  Way
to go Dad!!  Then,  out of the corner of my eye, I noticed
Sara Elizabeth had squirmed her way out of MyMay's lap on
the third row of this massive church and was standing in
the center aisle...but she was quiet. If that's what it
took, we were OK.  I turned my attention back to
Dr Duncan and the next thing I heard was all too familiar.
"Noooo!" that little voice cried out as if she was about to
get a bath or have to go inside or get her doll taken away.
Then again, "Nooo!" I glanced over and MyMay was trying to
calm her and get her seated. Sorry, Dr Duncan, my attention
was gone.  After another "Nooo", Sara Beth realizes she is
not gonna win this battle with MyMay and she sees her Honey
behind her.  So the cry changes to "Honeyyyy!?! Honeyyyy!?!"
as if only she  could save her from this terrible injustice.

By this time we're on baby 4 out of 7, and in true Dr Duncan
style, each child is getting his or her own individualized,
excrutiatingly long (at least for me, at this point) prayer.
After more screaming and crying, and the call changing
to "Mommaaa, Mommaaa", Sara Beth breaks away from MyMay's
grasp and runs like she's being chased (and she probably
thought
she really was) through the other couples and infants, past Dr
Duncan and into her Momma's legs.  Now crying hysterically,
Anna takes her away from the gathering in the front of the
church to attempt to calm her, but unfortunately, it's way too
late for that.  She continues to cry uncontrollably.  I can
only imagine the color my face was--I know Anna's was as
red as I have ever seen it. If you could combine the red
face of anger with the pink face of embarassment and get
some kind of dark maroon--that was Anna!!

Dr Duncan has now prayed prayer number 7 of 7, and amazingly
kept his composure. (He confided in me later, that he now knows
why God made him be a junior high coordinator for a few years--
he can handle any distraction!)  It's time for that perfect
moment of walking back down the aisle with our little family.
Unfortunately, it's not perfect.  Sara Beth is still screaming!
While the other 6 couples made their way back down (all very
quietly, I might add), we did our best to calm her, but we
couldn't.  It came our turn and she walked alongside Anna,
still crying, for the first 1/3 of the way.  Suddenly and
finally, she realizes that everyone in church is staring
at her and she gets deathly quiet. As we continue
to walk, looks of pity beam from the fellow parents in the
congregation, each of them knowing that that could have been
them, and probably quietly thanking God it wasn't.

Sara Beth is now composed, and we're almost out of there...
but she has to add 1 more thing.  As only she can, she looks
up at her mother and says (loud enough for anyone within 20
feet to hear her), "Mommaaa, I don't know where Leigh is?"
"She's right there, baby," Anna whispers.  "Yeah, but I don't
know where Daddy is."  Anna only sqeezes her hand and hopes
that we can get out of that church before she (that's Anna,
not Sara Beth) breaks down in tears.  And yes, we made it.

She was calm now, but I wasn't.  As steam visibly rose from
my ears, I yanked her up into my arms and all I could say
was "Sara Elizabeth Henson!!  SHHH!!" This of course, set
her off into tears and screams again.  Fortunately, First
Pres has very thick sanctuary walls and I think we were safe.
I made sure Anna wasn't in tears and I stormed off to the
nursery with my still screaming 2 year old, as Anna held
the newly babptized (and quiet) Leigh.  Then like an angel
sent for me, I bump into my sister-in-law Laura and her 2
year old William, also headed to the nursery.    Her face
combined a smile of pity and humor and as she patted me on
the back, I couldn't help but laugh--yes, I was still mad,
but I was laughing.

I not so gently dropped Sara Beth off at the nursery and as
she stood at the doorway still crying, I said "Sara Elizabeth,
GET IN SIDE THAT NURSERY, NOW!" and walked off.  If you don't
know FPC, there's a lot of different places you can sit and
still hear the sermon.  So Anna and I sat in tiny Hutton Chapel
all alone, as dead faced as we could be listening to Dr Duncan
(as Anna had amazingly held back tears to this point).

And then the message came...it was really only a small part of
a bigger message, but it was what I needed.  "Rejoice", he urged
us from Paul's letter to the church at Philippi.  I realized,
as mad I as was that this was a time to rejoice.  Rejoice in
this family, immediate and extended.  Rejoice in our church home.
Rejoice in what we've been given.  Rejoice that I have a job I
love. Rejoice even in the screams and cries of a 2 year old
that God uses to show us that our priorities may sometimes be
in the wrong place.  Most importantly, rejoice in the salvation
offered through Jesus Christ, the very salvation we must
preach and demonstrate to our children.  And rejoice in the
covenant of grace and mercy that Baby Leigh was baptized
into yesterday!!

If this weren't real life, then you know our day would
have gotten better after hearing this message...but it didn't. 
Sara Beth continued to be miserable--she fell, she bumped her
head, she hit another kid with a plastic golf club, she
acted spoiled at times, she even hit her momma.  But through
all this, we rejoice in the opportunity to be parents, to
learn from our kids as much as we teach them, and to bring them
up "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

God bless,
Zeb

12 month check-up

i took wes to the doctor for his 12 month check-up yesterday. his lungs were all clear (thanks for the prayers), and he was in the 90% for height and 50% for weight. i don't think anyone is surprised by those stats. if we could get the weight up around the 90%, i'm sure that stansbury would be calling in about 17 years. he's already off to a good start. see.....

sushi night

left side - jane clair, me, amy
right side - marty, emory, ginger

well, since my birthday is only 3 days before wes' birthday (and his 1st one at that)...mine kinda took a backseat to his this year. i'm totally fine with that, and i wouldn't have it any other way. however, the following week i got to go out and celebrate my birthday with girls...who don't need crayons to keep themselves entertained while tossing half eaten chicken nuggets across the restaurant or at their sibling. and, it involved sushi....so clearly it couldn't get much better!

yes, you see only one boat of sushi in that picture, but that was only one of 3! we ordered so much that they had to bring it in shifts, and i know that the shogun staff was impressed that 4 girls could devour so many rolls. (jane clair and marty opted for the hibachi dinner, but i think we may have jane clair on board now....marty still needs some work!)

much was discussed, and we even came up with a name for jane clair's baby - melinda clarinda lucinda luvassie adeline shettles. (somebody correct me if i'm wrong!) i'm sorry to those of you that couldn't make it...we missed you. but, marty's birthday is sunday, so we should be gathering around some food again here shortly! but, i'm guessing it may be something along the lines of american cuisine!

wes' shindig

this past weekend, we had a small celebration for wes' 1st birthday. amazingly, we made it through the whole party without a single meltdown from any of the six little people that were here. we also made it through an earthquake that nobody thought a thing about. a loud boom, a little shaking....we attributed it to thunder, a big truck, or maybe a sonic boom since the columbus AFB is nearby. we found out later that night that we were all wrong. how cool that we can now say we were in an earthquake!

here are a few pics from the party.

noah showing off his love of the dump truck

the other noah chowing down on some grilled cheese (mom looking on quite impressed)

me and baby leigh (i look weird holding a kid dressed all in pink, don't i?)

noah trying to decide what to play with next

presents!!!!

but, next year can y'all just get me a remote control instead of all this other stuff, please?

or maybe just some tupperware to play with?

although, i do like my new ride on

and my other set of wheels

mmmmm, cake!

william being a little more civilized with his cake

sara beth doesn't need a fork, though

on wes' actual birthday, we took him to baskin robbins to get his first taste of ice cream. ya think he liked it?

first bite

lovin' it!

just give me the spoon, woman!! it was a great weekend, and we look forward to another fun filled year. happy birthday, little man! we love you!

happy 1st birthday, wes!

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two peas in a.....sandpile

william and his buddy, charlie. after hamburgers, hot dogs, brownies, basketball, the sandbox, and jumping on the couch....they conquered the sandpile!

high aspirations

william: when i get really, really big, i'm gonna be the UPS man.

me: really?

william: yeah. a a a a a and, i'm gonna wear a brown shirt, and brown pants, and brown socks, and brown shoes and a brown hat.

me: really?

william: yes. and, i'm gonna driiiiiiiiiive the UPS truck.

me: where are you going to drive it to?

william: to somebody's house. and i will give them boxes and packages.

me: sounds fun.




william: when wes grows up to be really big....he's gonna be a cow.

me: really?

william: yeah, and he's gonna moooooooooo.

me: awesome.


up until now, william has always wanted to be a garbage man. apparently, we are slowly moving up in the world. poor wes....i guess he still has a ways to go.

my little redneck